First of all, let me just say that having the nipple reconstruction has seriously improved my self-image. It has been a long time since I was able to look at myself in the mirror without clothes. I did not expect this last reconstruction to have such a positive impact on me. Yes, my body still looks completely butchered......so many ugly scars......but I am feeling better about myself.
It’s weird, but during the time that I got my diagnosis and throughout the surgeries and chemo, I became very tunnel visioned. My horizon got so small. I blocked a lot out. I am missing huge portions of my memory of things from my chemo months. Now I realize it was due to being tunnel-visioned. We bought this new house and moved during that time. I am just starting to actually LOOK around and take in this new space. I realize how crazy this sounds. I actually stopped taking in information, socialization, and memories for about a year. I had stopped living and burrowed down deep inside myself while I healed. I have so much excitement for this summer - to LIVE and do things with the boys!
Currently, I am trying to get my activity level back to normal. I have been doing yoga and trying to stretch my body and mind. It is getting a bit easier for me to just get up off the ground. I haven’t been able to do that for a while now! It’s amazing how your body shuts down in such a short amount of time. I have also started doing a “Couch to 5K” program. It’s a program that will help me work cardio back into my life until I am ready to run/walk a 5K. I have my sights set on the Mother’s Day Breast Cancer run/walk that I did last year. I’m in a completely different place now!! And that was such a moral booster last year!
On the horizon: In May, I get my areola tattooed onto my “new” nipple. In June, I get my eyebrows microbladed (tattooed). They never grew all the way back.
