My MRI results came in the mail last weekend. I made Dave open it up. It was fine! I actually still haven’t even looked at it.
A lot of my joint pain has been considerably reduced. Is it because of the acupuncture? Is is because my body finally got rid of all the chemo toxins? I will never know.
I can tell my body is still healing. I am very exhausted by 7pm each night. I still crawl into bed every night -after my 20 minutes of yoga- around 8:00. Most of my residual joint pain happens by this time of the day and throughout the night. And it’s mostly just in my hands and feet now.
On Wednesday evening I got my first hair cut and color. My hair stylist gave me a free hair cut. I didn’t have a lot to work with, but he worked his magic. I anticipated getting the hair cut and continuing to wear my head scarves. I forced myself to post a picture of my hair on Facebook. Of course, everyone had lots of nice and supportive things to say about it. I used all that support to gain the courage to go to school the next day without a scarf. I felt completely naked. I have been wearing a wig or scarf on my head for the past 11 months. The scarves have become my security blanket. They hide the ugly results of chemo. I had a colleague who would joke about me playing the “cancer card”, but the scarves were something different. I was never looking for an excuse or pity. The scarves were evidence of what I had been through. What I was still working through. They were a symbol for people to be lenient and gentle with me. That I was not the whole person that I used to be or that I wanted to be.
So, my hair is ridiculously short. I do hate it. I want my old hair back, but I have a long wait ahead of me. Until then, this is going to be my new normal. I am on the other side of cancer now. Crawling slowly back to the way things used to be. There is still so much patience needed. I’ve come a long way, baby! A year ago, I had just had the mastectomy and was on a million drugs, with drainage tubes coming out of my body, and having to sit up in a chair all night long. Not a great memory. But it is finally in the rear-view mirror.
Thursday, January 25, 2018
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
MRI and pre-op appointment
I had my breast MRI on Monday. This is just routine and “just to make sure” there are no tumors in my other breast. I’m not quite sure what I would do if tumors show up. The results will be in the mail in a couple of days. Patience.....
Today was my pre-operation appointment with plastic surgeon, Dr. Vega. I had to sign the surgery papers that tell you all the things that can go wrong. Always fun. Then, I had to strip down for my photo-shoot. Also always fun. (Eye roll). The surgery is still scheduled for February 13th. It should take about 2 hours to do everything (remove port, create a nipple, lipo and fix my disaster of a stomach from the DIEP flap incision, and fat graft my (hopefully non-tumor filled) natural breast. She didn’t say how long I would be laid up, but the doctor had mentioned a week. She says I will be really sore where they lipo to get fat for the fat graft. She says that I will know if the fat graft was successful after three months because the body can sometimes absorb some of the fat. If that’s the case, I would have to go in for another surgery to do more. Question: Why can’t my body absorb the Christmas fat I put on???? The final step for this reconstruction is tattooing on an areola. They have a tattoo artist right in Vega’s office. It takes about an hour.
On the immediate horizon: A cut and color with my hair stylist next week!! I’m excited. I don’t have a lot of hair, but it’s time to have it trimmed up and get the gray out!
Joint update: I’m still doing acupuncture every week. I am in much less pain with my joints. The doc gave me a moxa stick to do moxibustion at home for the pain. It’s some ancient Chinese way of giving the painful joints intense heat. It really does take away my pain. I don’t quite understand it.
And if you’re following the Bergen house saga: Most of the downstairs carpets, ceilings, and some walls had to be gutted. A company came in and dried the house and applied a mold barrier. The oil company is taking responsibility for not delivering oil. The buyers are sticking with it and besides getting a great deal on the house, are now going to get a brand new first floor! If all goes well, we will let them choose their preferred carpet and paint colors. The whole thing is unbelievable. And then I will have to deal with the actual sadness of actually selling that house.
Today was my pre-operation appointment with plastic surgeon, Dr. Vega. I had to sign the surgery papers that tell you all the things that can go wrong. Always fun. Then, I had to strip down for my photo-shoot. Also always fun. (Eye roll). The surgery is still scheduled for February 13th. It should take about 2 hours to do everything (remove port, create a nipple, lipo and fix my disaster of a stomach from the DIEP flap incision, and fat graft my (hopefully non-tumor filled) natural breast. She didn’t say how long I would be laid up, but the doctor had mentioned a week. She says I will be really sore where they lipo to get fat for the fat graft. She says that I will know if the fat graft was successful after three months because the body can sometimes absorb some of the fat. If that’s the case, I would have to go in for another surgery to do more. Question: Why can’t my body absorb the Christmas fat I put on???? The final step for this reconstruction is tattooing on an areola. They have a tattoo artist right in Vega’s office. It takes about an hour.
On the immediate horizon: A cut and color with my hair stylist next week!! I’m excited. I don’t have a lot of hair, but it’s time to have it trimmed up and get the gray out!
Joint update: I’m still doing acupuncture every week. I am in much less pain with my joints. The doc gave me a moxa stick to do moxibustion at home for the pain. It’s some ancient Chinese way of giving the painful joints intense heat. It really does take away my pain. I don’t quite understand it.
And if you’re following the Bergen house saga: Most of the downstairs carpets, ceilings, and some walls had to be gutted. A company came in and dried the house and applied a mold barrier. The oil company is taking responsibility for not delivering oil. The buyers are sticking with it and besides getting a great deal on the house, are now going to get a brand new first floor! If all goes well, we will let them choose their preferred carpet and paint colors. The whole thing is unbelievable. And then I will have to deal with the actual sadness of actually selling that house.
Wednesday, January 10, 2018
Routine oncology visit & other stresses
Let me just give you a little background on my afternoon to explain why my blood pressure was so high for this visit! I was trying to scramble out of school early. In the middle of finishing up a bunch of school things, I noticed 2 messages on my phone: one from our realtor and one from the Genesee County Police Department. I called the police back first. He informed me that our house (that is ALMOST sold) was reported by the realtor for having major water damage. I immediately called the realtor back. Meanwhile, I SHOULD have been putting my lidocaine cream on my port......but I figured I would have the blood draw by my arm and I could numb my port by the time I needed to have it flushed. All of this while racing toward my appointment. I got to the blood lab and they told me that oncology was going to do my blood draw right NOW and to head upstairs. OMG, I still hadn’t put my cream on!!
So, yes, I had a pretty high blood pressure. The nurse asked why. I recited all of the above. I had asked my dad to run over to the house and check out the damage. He said there was a LOT of water damage to the hardwood floors, walls, and carpets, along with flooding in the basement. There were 3 obvious breaks in the heating pipes. He also noticed that the oil tank was on empty. I had my blood drawn (OUCH, nope the lidocaine hadn’t had time to work!) and my port flushed while I was frantically calling the oil company. I confirmed that the house was still on automatic fill up. So, this is a direct result of the oil company not keeping the tank filled! OMG. We are looking at well over 10k in damage. Most likely, much more.
Back to the cancer story. All of my numbers look great (except my blood pressure!). This was my last port flush because if all goes according to plan, the port will come out during my surgery in February. I cannot wait!
So, apparently, there is another fun side effect of Tamoxifen. That is weight gain. I am up 5 lbs in the last 6 weeks. The doctor said that people usually gain 5 lbs on Tamoxifen because it puts you into menopause. Menopause is when your hormones are all confused and seek lots and lots of Christmas cookies and cheese. Great. She said that I can blame this 5 lbs on the drug, but anything more will be directly from eating too much crap! She doesn’t sugar-coat things. And it’s a good thing, or I probably would have eaten that too. :/
Next appointment is a pre-op with my plastic surgeon on Wednesday.
So, yes, I had a pretty high blood pressure. The nurse asked why. I recited all of the above. I had asked my dad to run over to the house and check out the damage. He said there was a LOT of water damage to the hardwood floors, walls, and carpets, along with flooding in the basement. There were 3 obvious breaks in the heating pipes. He also noticed that the oil tank was on empty. I had my blood drawn (OUCH, nope the lidocaine hadn’t had time to work!) and my port flushed while I was frantically calling the oil company. I confirmed that the house was still on automatic fill up. So, this is a direct result of the oil company not keeping the tank filled! OMG. We are looking at well over 10k in damage. Most likely, much more.
Back to the cancer story. All of my numbers look great (except my blood pressure!). This was my last port flush because if all goes according to plan, the port will come out during my surgery in February. I cannot wait!
So, apparently, there is another fun side effect of Tamoxifen. That is weight gain. I am up 5 lbs in the last 6 weeks. The doctor said that people usually gain 5 lbs on Tamoxifen because it puts you into menopause. Menopause is when your hormones are all confused and seek lots and lots of Christmas cookies and cheese. Great. She said that I can blame this 5 lbs on the drug, but anything more will be directly from eating too much crap! She doesn’t sugar-coat things. And it’s a good thing, or I probably would have eaten that too. :/
Next appointment is a pre-op with my plastic surgeon on Wednesday.
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