I barely made it through Christmas. Yes, it was a pleasant distraction for weeks, but as we neared Christmas Day, I was really struggling. I've had several tantrum-style meltdowns. I finally asked Dave for the name of the psychologist who specializes in breast cancer. I needed an appointment. Turns out, by the time I asked, Dave had already called and was expecting a return call that afternoon. I'm scheduled to see her on Monday. I'm ready to be diagnosed as clinically crazy.
I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. Vega's plastic surgery office this morning. Dr. Vega was on vacation, so I saw the other micro-surgeon, Dr. Harvey. He started off with, "So, we have a little bit of a problem." ---the words you do NOT want to hear when you've known you've had breast cancer for 3 months and surgery is 13 days away. The office got me confused with someone else and my surgery cannot proceed on January 12th because Dr. Vega/Dr. Harvey are leaving town on the 13th. After this type of surgery, I have to be under their watch for 3 days to make sure the reconstruction takes. Dr. Harvey got to deliver this message to us while Dave tried to not lose his temper and I tried not to cry. We'll just say that neither of those things were able to be avoided. It was horrible. And on top of all that, Dr. Harvey offered a "delayed reconstruction" as a viable option. That was exactly the surgery that Dr. Vega said he does NOT recommend. We left very confused. I am close to the end of my rope on all of this.
Waiting another stress-filled week is just about killing me. I had this all scheduled with work, my sick days, my subs, child-care, my nuclear injection, my brain........everything was all set. And now it's not. In fact, it's so "NOT" that Dr. Vega called us twice today from his vacation and confused me all over again with what he recommends. Remember all those conversations a month ago with Dr. Vega recommending immediate reconstruction. He gets on the phone and says he would never recommend that for someone getting radiation. Dave spent a lot of time on the phone with him, thankfully, because I am done with these conversations and decisions. I just want the cancer OUT.
My new Apple Watch recognized my stress today and after that appointment, it recommended that I take a moment and do a breathing app. Haha. But for real!
Soooooo........Dave helped put this new surgery date in perspective for me. He says that surgery on January 12th wasn't always a sure-thing because I could have just as easily gotten into a car accident and had to have it rescheduled. Ummmm. Yes, that makes me feel much better.
And my friend, Kristen, had the best idea of all: Before my surgery, take a sharpie and write on my left breast "THIS ONE" so there are no more mistakes. I might actually do this.
Surgery is now scheduled for noon on January 19th.
No comments:
Post a Comment