.....but my left breast does not agree. It went rogue.....developed two lumps. I found them in mid-October. I spent three days trying to determine if I was really feeling lumps. Then I went to Dr. Google and "we" both agreed it was just fibroids....dense breast tissue......hormones. Dave was like, "Nah, call your real doctor just for fun." I did. They had me come in that day. Yes, two lumps - $15 co-pay please and thanks. Onto a diagnostic mammogram at Borg & Ide the next week. 3-D mammogram, ultra-sound and a recommendation to have a biopsy. Dave sat FOREVER in the main waiting room and I was in the inner waiting room. We were texting each other, trying to make sense of things. Trying to figure out what questions to ask. He asked if he should come back to my waiting room. Um, not unless you want to sit with a bunch of women not wearing shirts. I begged them to get me in for the biopsy ASAP. How about in 30 minutes? Eeeek - okay. I had zero time to google what I was in for. It wasn't a fine needle aspiration. It was a core biopsy guided with ultrasound in a room that was about 45 degrees. They prepped me for surgery that I was to be awake for. One shot of lidocaine. Then a scalpel cut. Then 4 of the biggest needles I have ever laid eyes on. The doctor had to push her weight on them to get them in. The best way to explain it is if you have ever tried to put a large needle through leather. It took a lot of time and effort for each needle and then it would SNAP a chunk of me - the biopsy. Thought I was done, but no. That was all for the first tumor. Lidocaine and 5 biopsy needles for the second tumor. Then, two more insertions of titanium clips for each tumor - markers. Then the long wait for results that would take 2 days. Except, this was over a weekend, so it was really 4 days.
I told Dave that bad things come in threes. I found two lumps - bad thing #1, I hit a deer and dented the front of my van the morning after the biopsy - bad thing #2. I knew a cancer diagnosis would be bad thing #3. But, that Sunday the Buffalo Bills LOST! Dave was like "That's the bad thing #3, you're going to get good news tomorrow!!" Except, I still had the worst nervous stomach ache....
I tried not to google too much....but.....
I had to wait until the end of the 4th day, Monday, and I still hadn't heard. When my anxiety levels reached maximum capacity, I called. The receptionist nonchalantly told me "Oh, yes, you had a mammogram and then a cyst drained. You're all set. Just call your primary doctor". Um, no my friend, these were not cysts. These were tumors and your office said they would call to tell me if they were cancerous or not. "Oh, um, we'll have someone call you back." Back to waiting. Then, finally the phone call. I bribed my kids with chocolate to be quiet so I could hear. 1 benign, 1 cancerous. Grade 2 out of 3. Not encapsulated. And then a lot of talk of what to do next. I blanked out a bit. I've been doing that a lot since this diagnosis.
Thank God for Dave. He has been making it his business to learn everything. He has scheduled consultations with four Rochester surgeons. We will go to those together in early November.
Tomorrow, we drop the kids off at daycare at 6:30am to get to my next step - an MRI. This will determine what stage I'm at and if it has spread to my lymph nodes. I'm still in denial. I hope reality doesn't hit me too hard tomorrow.
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