Chemo #7

This is my third week on Taxol and it has been a comedy of errors.  I had a blood draw on Tuesday (which I have to do weekly, prior to chemo).  The place was really busy and the nurse was distracted. She stuck the needle in my arm without cleaning the area with an alcohol pad.  Yikes!  Wouldn't that be a hoot if I survive the cancer but a little tiny germ takes me out?!  I checked with the oncologist and she was a bit shocked.  She said to watch closely for a fever and to call them immediately if I have one.

She was concerned about my white blood cells count.  They have been decreasing every week.  An average count should be between 4.5 and 11.0.  Anything below 4.5 is low.  This week, mine are at 1.6.  At 1.5, chemo should be discontinued until the count is back in place.  She agreed to let me do the chemo today, but I have to go back on Friday and Tuesday for Neupogen shots to help boost the white blood cells.  Insurance won't let me do them myself, so I'm going to have to beg out of work about a half hour early to make it for the shots.  They are like the Neulasta (painful side effects- bone and joint pain, headaches, etc.) but smaller doses.  So, maybe the side effects won't be so bad?

My eyebrows are starting to fall out a bit.  I asked about the microblading (tattooing) and she won't give me permission to do so until my white blood cells are high enough to fight infection.  My eyelashes are almost gone too.  Oh, and do you remember that 8 lbs that I originally lost?  I gained all that back plus TWO pounds.  I'm gaining about 2 lbs a week, so I will be about 300 lbs when this is all said and done.  Sweet.

During my chemo, the nurse (who I seriously love!) was trying to get the needle into my chest port.  The port is very small - maybe an inch in diameter?  It sticks out obviously under my skin.  I put numbing cream on the skin so there is no pain with the needle.  Anyway, she pushed the needle in today and asked "Did that go into your port?"  UMMMMM, WHAT?  She tried to get a blood draw on it and there was none.....so it didn't go into my port.  I have no idea where it inserted!  She pulled it out and reinserted one correctly. OMG - I did NOT want to know that there's a possibility of missing the port!  This port freaks me out enough as it is!

Anyway, NINE more chemos left to go......

Chemo #6

Ten more to go!  And ten (plus?) more blood draws....

That last chemo was like a walk in the park!  Aside from some decent tiredness, there were no other symptoms.  The oncologist says my anemia is a bit better and my white blood count is a bit worse.  But no interventions needed on either.  She reminded me that chemo is accumulative and eventually the side effects (neuropathy and exhaustion) will catch up with me.  But for now, I am pretty happy to be able to return to an almost normal life....which includes not having to take SICK DAYS from work!!

Doing well!!!

It is the Sunday after my new chemo drug.  I am doing really well.  There was no nausea whatsoever. My sense of taste and smell is still really messed up, but I'm not sure if it's due to the last treatment or  because it never repaired after that first horrible course of drugs.  The oncologist says it may take 6 weeks for things to go back to "normal".  My appetite is good - but there is really nothing that tastes good so I still have no interest in cooking.  I'm still dealing with a lot of mucus and sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in it - ewwww, I know.  My cough has decreased a bit.  I'm tired, but not dead-in-my-tracks tired like before. I'm able to lay down and rest for a half hour and then get up and do things for a bit.....which is how my days go.

The one outlier day was the day after chemo.  They had given me a bunch of pre-meds, which included steroids.  I felt like Wonder Woman the day after.  I jumped out of bed, cleaned the kitchen, got the kids ready for school, worked a VERY productive day, and took the kids to sports.  I felt invincible!  I was hoping to ride that wave right up to the next treatment - but sadly, it lasted only one day.  I made the most of it, though!  Hoping for another day like that this Thursday!

Tomorrow is bloodwork day - which is every Monday.  Then, I am on track for another treatment this Wednesday.

Chemo #5

Eleven more to go....

I have such a horrible association with going to chemo that I actually threw up in the car on the way there today.  My heart races and sometimes my blood pressure goes a little high.  I have so much anxiety about getting chemo, but I think it's because that last drug was so rough and caused such bad symptoms.  It was hard to go there and know that was going to happen.  I really hope this course is different.

I met with the oncologist about this new drug.  She says the nausea should not be as bad and that the exhaustion will lighten up a bit. This will make all my body hair come out......so a free Brazilian and I might have to consider getting my eyebrows tattooed on afterall.   I have anemia (low iron) still.  They are somewhat worried about my cough - but none of my doctors really know what to do about it.  The neuropathy shouldn't start until about my fifth treatment of this new drug. This drug also has a history of causing severe allergic reactions.  So, while the IV was running, the nurse had to sit and watch me for the first fifteen minutes.  They also give Benadryl in the pre-meds just in case. I didn't have any reactions.  However the Bendryl  made me incredibly sleepy and I fell asleep for a half hour when I got home.

It's my bedtime (sadly, I crawl into bed at 8:00pm each night due to exhaustion) and I am not feeling nausea - which I usually do by this time.  That is a good sign.  I will know by Friday/Saturday/Sunday if things are going to be rough.  Fingers crossed that they aren't.

Next treatment is next Wednesday - on a weekly treatment plan now, so the pace will pick up!

Hakuna Ma TaTa

On Mother's Day, two amazing friends organized a group of my friends/family to walk in the Breast Cancer walk at Genesee Valley Park in Rochester.  While this was being organized, I was mostly layin on the couch, feeling like dying.  I didn't know if I'd even be able to committ to going to it.  Lately, I cannot committ to things until I am just a day in advance.  If you know me, this is NOT my style.  I'm a planner and an over-planner.  So, while I wanted to say yes to this walk, I didn't know if I'd be able to.

The week prior was my bad week.  I am usually out of work Monday through Thursday of the week and only half alive when I return to work on Friday.  Well, this past Friday, I was not well enough to get to work.  The weekend started out terribly rough too.  Dave was sick with the flu the whole weekend.  I was determined to get to this walk. Sunday morning (Mother's Day), Evan, Will, James, and I drove in.  What a well-organized event!  All breast cancer survivors got bright pink bandanas and all supporters got light pink bandanas.  The people who were walking for me all showed up in shirts with a big pink ribbon that said "Fighting Cancer for Jennifer Weaver".  Let me tell you, it just took my breath away!!  All these people setting aside their own Sunday plans, their own Mother's Day plans.......all to show me how supported and loved I am!!!  There is really nothing like it.  Nothing.

We were the "Hakuna Ma TaTa's" team - which was written on the backs of our shirts.  Friends and family had purchased shirts for my whole family.  There was a LOT of pink in that park!  It was incredible to look out over that sea of pink and spot the bright pink bandanas of the survivors.  Several women stopped and told me their stories and gave me strength to know that this too shall pass.  It's just a chapter, not the whole story.  It was incredibly inspiring.  We had a beautiful walk - with the weather cooperating - all along the Genesee River.  We saw a woman's crew team all dressed in pink on the river.  There were bands and drummers along the way.  We got to walk and talk and it was such a good time!  The boys walked 2.6 miles, along with their cousins and friends and there was never a whimper!  I honestly cannot think of a better day that I've had in a long time!  And coming after such a terrible week, it just made me feel so alive!

I am a lucky girl to have such caring friends and family.  Nothing more to add. XOXO

Another hellish week

I've been dreading this week because I have finally accepted that it was going to be bad.  And it is.  It's Wednesday and I usually start to perk up by Thursday/Friday.  I'm not sure if it's going to happen this time.  So far, I'm only feeling worse as the week goes on.  The only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is that this SHOULD be the last time I get this low.  The new lower doses of chemo shouldn't drop me into this hell week.  In fact, I shouldn't need the injection of Neulasta after each chemo.  That shot, by the way, costs $10,000 each.  Yes, I have the correct amount of zeros in that number.....and it's a good thing I'm not a pre-existing condition.  Ha.

Chemo #4 and new home owners!!!!

Today was chemo #4 and the LAST of the dreaded A-C cocktail that has been making life really rough for me.  It was hard going in there today.  I know now that next week will be hell.  It wasn't a fluke the last two times.  It is going to happen.  I am probably going to miss work next week.  I will probably be too sick to take the boys to soccer and t-ball next week.  My appetite will go away and this cough and runny nose will return.  I will rarely get off the couch.  Exhaustion will be overwhelming.  They noted today that some of my exhaustion could be anemia - since my iron is low right now.

My next chemo regiment will be the Taxol and I have officially made the decision to take it in 12 weekly doses rather than 4 huge doses. If I can stay on track with that, I will get my last one the first week in August.  And that will be a day to celebrate!  Also, if this new drug doesn't make me as sick, I won't be missing as much school.  The treatments are just an hour long.  Therefore, I really should only miss 1/2 day of work a week.  That will be awesome if I can get to that point.

I ended up going in for another echocardiogram yesterday.  Dave is so completely stressed about my heart that it is making me stressed about my heart.  One thing that would indicate heart failure is swelling in my feet/legs.  My feet swelled a little at work on Friday.  Most likely from the steroids and all the salty food I eat now - since I can sometimes almost taste salty food.  The echo showed no changes in my heart.  But, they reminded me that the heart trouble can come later.  Sweet.  I didn't want to walk out of there without something to worry about.

House update:  We got the house!!!  Closing is supposed to be June 30th.  I'm going to be a city girl!!!  I'm excited but also so sad to leave the amazing house we live in now.  I've been here 26 years.   I will miss this gorgeous house that is on the National Historic Registry and my beloved hip-roof barn and all my gardens.  I need to tuck all that away into my heart.  It is time for us to move on into a place with more room.  The new house is enormous and has 1.13 acres in Brighton.  That is a huge piece of land for that area.  As soon as I get through next week, I plan on getting SUPER EXCITED about our move!!!  Until then, we have a lot to do in order to get this sweet place on the market.