I met with the breast surgeon on Monday. Uneventful. Two seconds, a quick exam, and I handed over the co-pay. I have to see her again next year. I asked about my looming mammogram that is always due in November. It was last October that I found my lumps and thus began this damn journey. She said that I have to have a mammogram on both breasts. This terrifies me for two reasons. 1). What if all the stitches in my reconstructed breast rip apart in that machine? 2). What if they find a lump in my right breast? I honestly don't know what scares me more. I shared my concern about my reconstructed breast ripping apart at the seams. So, she said I could skip that side this time, if the mammography place agrees. She said I will definitely need a mammogram and sonogram on the right side.
I called Elizabeth Wende Mammography and scheduled the appointment. They looked at my chart and said, "Plan on being here 2-3 hours." Sigh. I can't remember if they have wine in the waiting room. I need someone to hold my hand and a wine bottle seems like the perfect companion.
Yesterday, I had an appointment with the oncologist. I cannot say enough good things about Interlakes Oncology in Brockport. It was like a reunion with long lost friends! I do love them all. I told the doctor about my joint pain. At night, I cannot grasp the blankets to pull them over me, I cannot turn over in bed because my elbows and hands are in so much pain, and during the day at school, if I get on the ground to work with kids, I struggle to get back on my feet. What the hell!!? It's like I'm 109 years old. She ordered 5 more vials of blood to be taken, so thankfully I had put lidocaine on my port prior to going. She also wants me to see a rheumotologist ASAP. I was supposed to start Tamoxofen a month ago - but had to postpone with the shingles. Now, she does not want to start it due to the body pain because Tamoxofen can also cause body pain. She looked at my nails (which are bruised and only connected by a tiny bit) and said "Ah, yes, Taxol nails. They will grow out." Cool.
Today the rheumotologist called me and is able to get me in tomorrow afternoon. I know they won't find anything. I know I'm going to be extremely frustrated. Again.
I do love being back at school without a million looming absences. It is a nice distraction and feels good to exercise my brain. I am struggling with name recall and following group conversations - especially if they are social in nature. It's weird. I am working with 5th graders this year and have decided not to put myself through the agony of wearing a wig. I spoke to all the classes on the first day of school and told them my story in a 5th grade fashion. It was an absolute relief to put it out there. The kids have been so interested in things and ask questions. It's really great that it is out in the open and not a taboo subject.
My hair is starting to regrow. Gray. Lovely. It's soft and fine like baby hair. I'll get it dyed as soon as I can. It's also straight so far (it's only about a centimeter long), which is weird because it used to be curly/wavy. My eyelashes have also started sprouting. Very exciting. No eyebrows yet. My white blood cell count it back to normal (4.8) so I would guess I could get them tattooed on, but I forgot to ask. I have to go back to the oncologist in 2 weeks with hopes that my joint pain is figured out and Tamoxofen can start. Fingers crossed......even though I really don't want to be on this drug......but I figure I NEED to be to keep my life expectancy up to 90%. I don't want to ruin their data! Ha! :)
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